Now my 33rd birthday is coming up in just a few days and I’m not sure why but recently I’ve heard on the radio, tv, podcasts etc people talking about the transition from your 20’s to your 30’s. Some have referred to it as a ‘quarter life crisis’, other’s just a quest for stability, you get the idea.
I think it happens for different people at different ages and I don’t know if it is always a crisis but for 99% of people they transition from a dreamer at 20 to a realist at 30.
I’ve talked about my own such struggle many times on this blog, the search for a ‘dream job’ and how I settled for an accounting job that gave me a living.
Yes, I totally settled but that hasn’t been a completely bad thing. I get to work from home, can afford a house, and face the daily challenge of trying to master something that I maybe am not the most naturally suited for.
All in all, I’m content with my work life and I try my best to work hard and be worthy of the trust my employer has set in me. Does that mean there aren’t any wishful daydreams or longing sighs through scrapbooks? Of course not but I think that is part of being 33…
I’m sure at 43 I will have a similar feeling looking back at my 30s- mostly nostalgia with a little bit of a regret. I like what Thoreau said “to regret deeply is to live afresh”
I’ll never forget talking with someone a few years ago when I was struggling with a personal loss. I had never met this woman and she told me about an incident involving her son that had devastated her years before. She said every once in a while she will be overwhelmed with the feeling of that moment long ago and that she believes it is Heavenly Father’s way of reminding her ‘wow that was hard and I got through it”
I didn’t intend this to be a sad post but I’ve thought about her statement many times. That the hard moments in life and aren’t softened by the years merely given a happy ending of triumph. It’s like in my open water swims- the memory of the waves and salt are still biting but the knowledge that I finished reassures and exhilarates.
Anyway, I guess if I have a quarter life crisis it is perhaps the worry that with the purchase of my home the most exciting event of my life is behind me. I say that not to engender pity but as a real genuine emotion I had to work through. What if I don’t marry and spend the rest of my life as a single accounting clerk in Draper, writing her blog and swimming? What if?
I suppose that question is the true transition from your 20’s to your 30’s. The window for drastic life changes is closing for most of us at least professionally and we all have to say “what if this is as good as it gets?”
Well, than that’s ok and there certainly could be drastic change. My patriarchal blessing sure promises some but it could all be the same too. We will see!
The other thing is that my desires are changing. I was thinking about that this December and even before I got sick I was soooo grateful I was not traveling for the holidays. Even visiting my family I am not as happy as when I am in my own home- even sick.
I used to think that traveling was the greatest and now it doesn’t appeal much for me. The trip to Disney in 2013 made me realize that unless I can go to a beach, pool or lake travel really doesn’t have much draw anymore. It’s so exhausting, my feet and muscles hurt so badly and unless there is a beach it just doesn’t sound fun.
I’ll do my best and be open to whatever is in store for 2014. We’ll see!
Like this quote:
“I see it all perfectly; there are 2 possible situations – one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it – you will regret both”