Tag: writers block

Nanowrimo Update: Day 8

shut up

So as you all know I have been working on my nanowrimo book for the last 8 days and I am happy to report I just finished my 27,350th word.  That means I am over half way done and it is just day 8.  I am really proud of my dedication and hard work and can’t wait until it is finished.

That’s the good part…

The bad part is I am not loving my book.  I really don’t want anyone in my writing group to read it and haven’t wanted to post new sections because I know it isn’t great.  It certainly isn’t nearly as good as last year’s book and I’m not saying that was some kind of masterpiece.  Then again it is the first time I have ever written fiction so maybe I am being too hard on myself?

Have any of you guys had this happen when you are writing nanowrimo, where you just become kind of disillusioned with your story?  It is a bit hard to sit down and write everyday  but I set a goal and I am going to finish.  I really think my story will be better as a screenplay because you can more easily show a person talking in another person’s body.  That is really hard to do in a novel.  It’s too bad Script Frenzy ended last year 😦  I do much better when I have a group challenge and am not just dependent on myself for motivation.

I couldn’t even find a section that I wanted to show you, which is certainly different than last year.  This is the best I could come up with.  A single and married woman have switched places and find themselves frustrated with living the other’s life instead of their own.  This becomes particularly so when the married woman’s back goes out and the single woman has to deal with all the pain.  Eventually she goes to the hospital and they give her a shot for the pain.  This makes her kind of nutty and she starts spilling the beans about the switch but nobody will believe her:

After about 10 minutes in the hospital Marnie could feel the shot start to kick in.  She could move her back and neck but now the problem was she couldn’t think clearly.  Everything was muddled and cloudy inside and the world felt like it was spinning.  She didn’t know where she was, who’s body she was in or what she was doing.

The nurse came in to check on her and Marnie pulled her aside and said “My friend stole my body and gave me her bad back instead.  That wasn’t very nice was it?  I feel all lose inside like an eel.  How do you feel?”

“Uhhh…no that doesn’t sound nice and I’m doing just fine” said the nurse inching away and chuckling.

“She also gave me her 4 children and took my quiet apartment and especially at Christmas.  Why did we have to be switched at Christmas? Isn’t that mean? I could keep the kid (they really were quite cute kids and she felt like she could talk to all of them, deal with them), but I miss my cat.  Her name is Pepper.  Do you have a cat doctor?” she says with a bit of drool coming out of her mouth.

“I’m not the doctor but do you need me to get him” said the nurse  “So you say your friend gave you her four children?  Why would she do that?”

“Because I told you silly- she took my body and gave me her children” with that Marnie began to get off of the exam table.  “I took her body but it has a bad back.  Otherwise I like it just fine and she doesn’t have to go to work but gets to spend time doing something important. “ she says with a slur.

“But I really love her and she’s my best friend.  Did you know we have been friends since I was 7 years old.  That is longer than I’ve known anyone, oh but my mother.  My Mother is dead.  Did you know that”

The nurse nods.  :That’s too bad.  Now please try and relax.  That I the only way your back is going to get better is if you relax”

“But what about the children.?  They are JT, Julie, Callie and the youngest.  Oh yeah Addie. Who is going to take care of them if Becca is in my body . They need their mother”

“I am sure they do.  Mrs.  Phillips, we need you to relax and take some deep breaths.  Everything will work out.”

“That’s what everyone says but then nothing ever does.  My whole life I’ve been waiting for things to work out and they don’t. Aside from meeting Becca I have had the worst string of luck. I get a chance at the promotion and I’m in someone’s body.  I meet a great guy and I can’t go on the date with him because I’m Becca Phillips not Marnie.  I just want to have my body back and I want Becca to have hers.  I promise I will support her more and help more with the kids.  Please give me my body back” Marnie grabs the nurse’s sleeve and puts her hands together as if to be begging.  “Please help me”

The nurse gives up trying to talk to her and looks at me.  “Sir, can you take responsibility for Mrs.  Phillips and make sure she gets home”

“Of course he can” she says “he’s Santa.  He can do whatever he wants.   What do you want for Christmas? You should ask him now why you have the chance.  Did you know that Rudolph actually has a red nose and flies? I’m tired.  I feel like you are made of glue and all clear inside.  Am I clear like that?”  Marnie interrupts.

“Honestly I want a night off to relax” says the nurse.

“Well, take a step back because you may get what you want.  Do you have a best friend? What is her body like? You better make sure you like it because you may end up in it for next Christmas.  Is she pretty?  Maybe I can swap with that? Becca is very pretty but her back hurts.  That’s why I had to get a shot and now I feel funny”

“Is that so?”  The nurse looks truly mystified even for someone on a muscle relaxant shot this is unusual.  Not wanting things to get any  more out of hand I jump in.

“Ok.  Sweetie.  I will get the nurse her night off.  Let’s go.  Put your head on my shoulder and let’s walk to the car”

“All right but we need to make sure that she gets the right body because I’m Marnie and I was born in 1981 and my best friend is Becca”

“Ok.  Let’s go” I can’t help but laugh at the half dazed conversation attempts made by poor Marnie.  This really was a new side of her that I don’t think anyone had seen.

“Are we going to go on the reindeer?” she asked.  “I want to see Rudolph’s red nose and meet Spencer the elf”

“How did you know about Spencer the elf?” I say with surprise.

————

Why go on, you ask?  Well, I finish what I start and nanowrimo is no different.  Plus I read this pep talk from Malinda Lo and I found it very encouraging.  Here is a segment: ”

That’s what inspiration is. It’s seductive and thrilling, but you can’t depend on it to call you. It doesn’t work that way. The good thing is, inspiration is irrelevant to whether or not you finish your book. The only thing that determines that is your own sense of discipline.

Here’s what happens when I sit down to write. First, I turn off my access to the internet by engaging Freedom. (The internet is the number-one killer of writer productivity!) Second, I open Scrivener. (Substitute whatever word-processing program works for you.) Third, I force myself to sit there with my work-in-progress until Freedom says I’m done. (I always set it for at least one hour, and often three.) I don’t allow myself to get up to make endless cups of tea (one will do). I just sit there. That’s all.

How often am I filled with inspiration before I start writing? Pretty much never. Instead, I usually stare at my work-in-progress with a vague sense of doom. I often think to myself: What the hell am I doing in this scene? I don’t understand how to get my characters from Point A to Point B! I really want to check Twitter!

The trick is this: As long as I sit there with my work-in-progress, at some point I will write something, because there’s nothing else to do.

Whatever I write may not be any good, but that doesn’t matter. When you’re writing a first draft—which most of you are doing this month—the most important thing is to keep moving forward. Your first try will be riddled with mistakes, but that’s what revision is for. Right now, you only have to put those ugly, wrong words on the page so you can fix them later.

So, inspiration isn’t what gets your book written. Discipline is. However, inspiration does sometimes pop by for an unexpected visit.”

——————————-

“The trick is to write something”.  I really like that and it is exactly what I am doing.  I am writing something and I will make it better and work on my 1st book even more because believe me it had much  more inspiration.  I know it isn’t the greatest book ever but I sincerely love it and want to make it as good as I possibly can.  22650 words left and I’ll be done! So excited.

How are you guys doing on nanowrimo and what do you do when you stop loving your manuscript?  Do you just give up on it or finish? Thanks in advance for your insight.

So

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Writers Block, Tornados, Recital and Random Thoughts

So I just realized I haven’t updated the blog for a week.  Shame on me!  I am sure all of you my loyal blog readers have been sitting at home wondering when I was going to unleash my creativity and wisdom on you again… (LOL.  Wouldn’t that be the life!).   I have actually at down several times to write but couldn’t come up with anything to say.  I guess you might say I had writers block.

If you ever have any topics you would like me to research, opine on, please suggest!  I suppose when you’ve been blogging for 5 years it isn’t much of a surprise you eventually run out of topics at the ready beckon call.   Need help from all of you!

Tornado-

Of course we had the horrible tragedy in Oklahoma with the tornado this week.  I was shocked by the photos and video.  Naturally I thought of my friend Jani who was my roommate in 2000 and has lived in Oklahoma for the last 10 years.  I saw her last year after a long loss of contact (just lost emails).  I emailed her on Tuesday to see if she was ok and she sent me the following response:

Can you believe this:

tornado-oklahoma-a_2568433b

“The greatest need is prayers right now. I’ve heard of some members homes being heavily damaged and some others haven’t been able to get to their homes yet. Most don’t have electricity, and water is low pressure or not on yet. At the stake center, a few blocks north of the area, they are collecting water and boxes so people can collect things from the rubble. Our home is ok and we have water turned on again but we can’t drink it. We’ve had a few friends stay and just sleep or use the internet or electricity to charge stuff. There is a constant sound of helicopters and sirens–its a constant reminder of the critical situation out there. I’m sure once the neighborhoods are opened up there will be a great need for volunteers to clean up. It’s going to take a while. I haven’t heard of any fatalities in the ward or stake but there are complete losses of property. I will get in touch with our rs president again and let you know if there is anything they need. She’s been busy, as you can imagine. It’s sad to see much of our community just gone. We love Moore and the people of Oklahoma!”

Please keep them in your prayers and find little ways to help.  I was really hoping for a way and then out of the blue the Red Cross called me yesterday to individually ask me to donate blood on Friday.  This was kind of amazing because I haven’t given blood in probably three years so I’m shocked they had my number.  My veins are so small and wiggly that I have hesitated in the past (last time I donated I was battled and bruised).  Anyway, I am O- and they said they particularly needed that so I am happy to give it a go and try to help.  I felt like it was a blessing to find a way to help those in need instead of just watching the news.  Cross fingers I can actually donate and my veins will cooperate.

Recital

On other news we had my spring recital today.  It was a great time and my Dad was in town and came to see me.  I didn’t get a video this time but here is a recording I made of singing the song just a few minutes ago.

I sang Make You Feel My Love by Bob Dylan as sung by Adele (no small order!).  I’m not saying I could make American Idol but I don’t think you would be running for the hills, covering your ears.  I was able to get the character of the song which made me happy.  (I wish I had  a recording just so you can see that).

Regardless of how it turns out the whole experience of recitals and voice lessons is so positive.  It makes me feel like I am progressing, learning, and contributing something beautiful to the world.  I work in accounting, which I am grateful for but not exactly the most creative thing.  It feels so good to get out there, work on a song from ilk to all right, and hear the positive feedback (btw, if you hate it, keep it to yourself!)

A happy girl after the recital!
A happy girl after the recital!

Other Random Things-

Comcast has been making me crazy (also part of the reason I haven’t been posting this week, been on the phone with Comcast or having weak to no internet).  After 4 hours today I think we finally figured it out.  Prayers!  At least I have the phone number of the technician so no  more call center nightmares and drives up to Lindon to get new equipment (went through 5 modems before we figured out the gateway channel was full presumably with others from my building).  Sigh

It was so hard to get to this point.  Trust me!
It was so hard to get to this point. Trust me!

Working on getting ready for GSL swim in just a few weeks.  I don’t feel nearly ready but I’m going to give it a go.  Did a 1200 in a long course pool on Saturday, so that felt good.  This taking it slow thing is sort of nerve-wracking and I’m trying to not get nervous.  I keep telling myself if I fail, so what.  My friends love me.  That said, I don’t think I will fail. 🙂

Learned a big lesson at the house Monday.  My roommate had her car in the street and I hadn’t read an email from the HOA about towing cars on the street starting Monday. You can guess the ending of the story.  Her car got towed and it cost us $264.50!  Isn’t that nuts?   Double sigh…

As a proud tea party conservative I am horrified at the IRS targeting of tea party groups.  I attended many rallies in perhaps the most conservative area of the country, Provo, Utah and never felt anything but peaceful, love of country.  Practically the only thing discussed was cutting spending.  Honestly you didn’t hear at the tea party about pro-life, 2nd Amendment or other conservative hot buttons.  It was without a doubt the most patriotic and positive experience I’ve had as an American and the fact that these people have been targeted makes me nuts.  It is wrong and it will not blow over and be forgotten if I have any say in the matter.

So, turns out I had a lot to talk about.  Maybe I should always wait a week. 😉

Hope you are all doing well.  How’s life treating you?