This may seem odd after my earlier post about the bechdel test but I don’t think it is. In this video I dissect the story of Cinderella as told through … Continue reading Defending Cinderella
The other day I was having a conversation with a girl on twitter and she said she ‘would never dye her hair’ and that she ‘preferred to age gracefully’. I told her to wait until she was sprouting gray hairs at 25 and we’ll talk. At 32 I’m not exactly looking to ‘age gracefully’. Especially being unmarried gray hairs are one more thing that says ‘old maid’ to potential companions. I’ve already got enough of those signs to deal with, let me keep a few pretty things about myself a little longer.
It would be one thing if I had to have plastic surgery or inject botox into my body to look younger. That I would never do but a package of hair dye doesn’t seem so bad. Most people don’t even know that I have colored my hair because I keep it pretty natural. People don’t think I’m strange for altering my complexion through makeup and mascara. I don’t think hair dye is all that different. It doesn’t last forever and is a beauty treat that makes me feel good.
Usually I go to a salon to color my hair but I’ve been having a hard time finding a new one since my stylist moved to Chili. This isn’t my first time dyeing my own hair ( I would NEVER cut my own hair) and 1/1 on success rate. 1 I liked, 1 not so much. Hopefully this will make 2 out of 3.
Either way, I like to feel pretty, not because its my inherent worth but because I think I’m beautiful and I feel more beautiful without gray hair. Is that really such a crime? We all do things to help us feel more beautiful and happy but they aren’t the base of our happiness. I am happy because I’m a daughter of God and I have His Gospel. I just feel a little perk of pleasure when I look nice and feel beautiful.
Now I just have to find a guy who likes my version of beautiful. Maybe there is a hair color he will like? JK. Who knows? Life is crazy but I think I’m going to like my new hair.
What do you do to feel more beautiful? What are your favorite health and beauty products, treatments?
I’ve mentioned the infamous Maura Kelly op-ed in Marie Claire many times on this blog . The one where she compares fat people to heroine addicts
“”I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine [sic] addict slumping in a chair.”
“I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other… because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything.”
It is hate speech of the worst kind and the fact that a major fashion magazine would publish and then defend the smut is unbelievable.
Anyway, I came across an article by Josh Shahryar for the Huffington Post refuted each of Kelly’s claims and her subsequent apology. It is so awesome!
I was particularly moved by his last segment called The Conclusion.
I don’t normally share whole articles on this blog but I was so moved I wanted all of you to read it. Being on a new diet this last week I think I needed to read this article. So beautiful and moving:
5. The Conclusion
I’m not a personal issues expert. But I’m a human being living in the West who knows what’s going on. And what I see is this: there is an incredible amount of bias perpetuated against overweight people in the media. They are almost never the central character — always neatly tucked in as a secretary, the nurse or a character who’s too old to rouse romance. The last time I saw overweight people in a movie as the central character was in Paul Blart: Mall Cop and recently in Precious. Both the movies had a bit to do with weight.
When they appear on TV shows, it’s about weight. Guess who the loser in The Biggest Loser is… Guess who’s huge on Huge (by the way, a very witty show that got canceled). And when it comes to commercials, There’re always those damn ‘fatties’ that can’t seem to lose their weight without this or that new magical drug or diet.
Criminals can and do get central characters, otherwise. Druggies do. Even rapists and child abusers get more frequently featured. Fat people just aren’t good enough. (And to come to this realization right now just truly, deeply and profoundly upset me.)
The only shows, commercials or movies in which they get treated as normal people are those oriented towards the African-American population. Kudos to them for having the empathy. Only the oppressed can feel the pain of the oppressed.
Overweight people have become marginalized by the media simply because they’re overweight. Just like African Americans were marginalized because they were black and more recently, gay people because they’re gay. I understand fully that unlike the color of someone’s skin or someone’s sexual orientation obesity is a medical condition and a problem, but obese people aren’t. That is the issue. That is the problem. That is what both overweight, “normal” weight and underweight people need to come together and fight against.
The first step towards losing weight is not putting your mind to it. It is not making a list of things you will absolutely not do. It is not locking up the fridge. It is knowing that even if you fail at losing weight, people will still love you for who you are and not the number of pounds you’re packing. That people will judge you by your character and not because you are unhealthy weight-wise (and some people are perfectly healthy even when they are overweight). It is that feeling that you are doing this for yourself not because you have to fit a mold created for you.
That cannot be accomplished as long as Western culture continues to brand people who weigh more than what it deems aesthetically pleasing as unacceptable. It’s gotten so bad that even a few people who’re skinny live in constant fear that they might add a few pounds and not look beautiful enough to not be judged by people. And since media plays a huge part in formulating our cultural perceptions, it needs to change immediately — whether people like Ms. Kelly like it or not.
To that end, I urge everyone who finds size-ism in the media as a menace to view this as a watershed moment. It’s time to come together and fight this bigotry to the bitter end. Change does not come without someone pushing for it. If we want this to change, if we want for us, overweight or not, to not be judged by our BMI, we need to not let this fire die down.
We need to stand up and demand change. Even if it means we need to force the issue daily on social networking sites. Even if it means we have to boycott media that continue to practice this bigotry. Even if it means we have to hold peaceful demonstrations for the end of this practice. If media does not change, we cannot change this culture that seems to have been forever marginalizing overweight people.
It’s not just people judging you on the street. It’s about losing job opportunities. It is about equal treatment in the health care system. It is about being able to breathe, knowing everything’s gonna be alright.
The media’s side-stepping the issue and pretending all’s well reminds me of a scene from the movie Good Luck Chuck. Chuck is hexed so any girl who sleeps with him ends up meeting the love of her life in the next few days. His overweight secretary finds out about this and like any woman, she wants to find the lover of her life. She corners him one night and begs him to have sex with her, but he won’t. It goes on for a couple of minutes. Then, finally when he’s on the ground and she’s on top of him and he refuses, she tears up and says, “It’s okay. Close your eyes and pretend I’m someone beautiful.” He looks up, visibly moved, and says, “I’ll pretend it’s you.”
Well, pretending is just not good enough anymore.
(So awesome! I hope I can keep the discussion going and show people a different version of what a fat American can do. I bet Maura Kelly couldn’t swim a 5k!)
For those who don’t have pinterest- I really liked this. I think she’s right on (and I normally not the hugest Tina Fey fan. I don’t think 30 Rock is funny…!). In reading my old journal it is also amazing how much I talk about losing weight and my body image. I just assume that if I had a certain body type I would be happier. I’ve learned it is not true.
There is always something to feel bad about yourself if you let it. I used to think that if you were skinny you’d get married and live happily ever after. To be honest I am not sure how the happily ever after happens, especially as far as meeting the special someone is concerned, but I am positive it has nothing to do with being skinny.
I don’t think we are fated or victims in life but I am increasingly convinced most of the test of life is trying to squeeze joy out of events, good and bad, that happen to you; and in the end becoming the person you are meant to be. I’ve spent a lot of my life stressed out over things I have no control over. I’m working on that. You live and learn!