Today I am sick. Coughing and coughing. I have to say it is at moments like these that I wish I had someone to take care of me. It might sound crazy to miss my Mother when I’m about to turn 35 but doesn’t everyone miss their mothers from time to time?
I think it is more than that. It is that sense of someone having your back and taking care of you when you are unwell. Most of us as adults, married or single, don’t have that. It is probably the part of childhood we all miss the most.
It makes sense when you think about it because we are taught to be independent and strong but when we are sick that facade is gone and we are back to being needy and in pain. Plus, I am usually very tired and worn out when I am sick.
I’m just grateful I don’t work in accounting any more so I can take the day off and get better. In accounting it didn’t matter how sick I was. I still had to work every day.
But I still do miss being taken care of. On my mission I used to have these fantasies about my Mother taking care of me. I was so tired and worn out the entire time that it was something I would dream about. Ha! Not that much has changed.
Can anyone relate to what I am talking about? Do you ever as an adult wish you could get taken care of?
I don’t normally get overly emotional when a famous person or celebrity dies but every once in a while someone who has touched my life, celebrity or not, will pass away and it makes me feel sad. Today my Saturday morning friend over on NPR, Tom Magliozzi, passed away from alzheimers and it made me feel very sad.
He and his brother Ray were the hosts of NPR’s Car Talk and were better known as Click and Clack the Tappett Brothers.
Here is a tribute done on NPR today.
The thing is anyone who knows me knows I hate cars. I hate driving. If I could live in Manhattan and never own a car I would be a happy lady. They are a necessary evil in my life and a royal pain in the neck. As my Dad knows I even hate cleaning cars. I just don’t care about cars.
And yet I liked Car Talk. I first discovered them around 2006. At the time I was very unhappy working as a receptionist where I would do long stretches of data entry, sometimes days of data entry. One regular project I had was 35 pages of data for the monthly car account.
That was just one of the mindnumbingly boring chores I did for that job. When there wasn’t a call I could put an ear bud in one ear and play some music or a podcast, so I downloaded just about everyone I could put my hands on. That is also when I started my audible account so I’ve had that for 8 years!
In fact, I preferred podcasts to music because it was less distracting and made me feel like I was having some human contact in my cubicle cell. I could be doing the most boring task imaginable and listening to a podcast on books or science and feel like my brain was getting some aerobics in the day.
In all those podcasts I discovered Car Talk and the first episode that really made me laugh was when Tom told the story of Tanya the Trainer. I posted this on my blog years ago and it still makes me laugh every time I read it.
I was hooked. Tom and Ray were the embodiment of cheerfulness and joy. Every Saturday I would turn in and laugh and smile and then I would listen to the podcast again a couple of times throughout the week. Just a few months ago I tweeted during stopped traffic ‘thank you for Car Talk. It makes traffic liveable”. Joyfulness and a love of life will have that effect no matter what they are talking about.
Another funny bit that was a favorite of mine is the operation vowel drop. I’ve listened to this about a hundred times and it still cracks me up.
A recurring bit on the show was that Tom could never remember the puzzler from the previous week. Little did we know for at least some of the years he literally could not remember.
Here was a bit where the two laughing at dementia and foreign accent syndrome. Even though I didn’t know him his laughter was infectious and I’m sure he would want to be remembered for it.
It’s interesting that I would find Car Talk when I was so unhappy at work and listening to all those podcasts while grinding through all that data entry because Tom was somewhat of a crusader of anti-work. He said he had an epiphany one day after commuting 45 minutes to work and almost being in a dangerous accident:
“He had a revelation that he was wasting his life. Upon arriving at work, he walked into his boss’ office and quit on the spot. He hated putting on a suit and working in the 9-to-5 world.
“He actually hated working in any world,” says his brother Ray. “Later on, when we were doing Car Talk, he would come in late and leave early. We used to warn him that if he left work any earlier, he’d pass himself coming in.”
As Tom once described his own attitude to his listeners, “Don’t be afraid of work. Make work afraid of you. I did such a fabulous job of making work afraid of me that it has avoided me my whole life so far.”
I love that. Just when I was so miserable in my work I found a joyful spirit in someone who had found freedom from it. Do what you have to do and do it with joy and ‘work’ in it’s 4 letter sense will leave you be.
This is another caller I love who they talked off the edge from destroying her car. They just made you happy when you listened to them.
A friend of mine told me she didn’t like their show and I found it astounding because they are so cheerful and happy. It’s like not liking a babies grin or dimples on a little girl. They are so joyful.
Anyway, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there and say thanks to Tom and Ray for cheering me up all these years. RIP Tom and my comforts to Ray and the entire Magliozzi clan.
It just shows what good a human being can do when he or she finds their calling.
They were immortalized by the Pixar folks with Ray a Volkswagen van and Tom his fabled Dodge Dart.
It’s Friday. It’s been a long week. During lunch I was listening to a comic I’ve liked for a while named Joe Machi. I always say with comedy- all I know is what I think is funny. I have no idea if you guys will think he is funny. He is awkward and nervous but the writing is good and it makes me laugh.
To me that was funny the gag about the bank password.
He was recently on Last Comic Standing and he was robbed!!! But I first saw him on Red Eye which is late night on the Fox News Channel (as an insomniac it has provided me with loads of entertainment).
Here’s some more of his sets on Last Comic Standing.
So if you needed a laugh hopefully that did something for you! Thanks for making me laugh Joe! What current stand up do you like?
So I laughed harder today than I have in many years. Yes, years. The kind of laughing where you can hardly breathe and your side aches.
What made me laugh? Well, lately the website buzzfeed.com has been doing a bunch of surveys to determine all kinds of things like ‘Which Jane Austen Heroine are you Like?’ or ‘What superhero are you?’ etc. They’ve become popular with my friends so I mozied on over to take a few as a lark.
The first one I got was quite the ominous survey ‘How will I die’. I mean who doesn’t want to know that? Would certainly help when purchasing life insurance. So I filled out the survey and the results pop up. I am not altering this in any way. This is what it told me:
“You will be suffocated by existential dread. An unbearable sense of the sheer pointlessness of it all, once tamped down by booze, drugs, and the occasional, ultimately meaningless sexual release, eventually becomes too much for you”
That’s rough…Who knew I was both so thoughtful and such a rebel. So existential dread is defined by our friends over at wikipedia as “It is used in English to describe an intense feeling of apprehension, anxiety, or inner turmoil. In other languages…. it is used regularly to express fear.
Also existential philosophy is the brainchild of Soren Kierkegaard. The idea is you use your brain to perfect yourself and separate from the empty, meaningless world. (Catcher in the Rye with all the ‘phonies’ is an example). Anyway, who knew that it had such a hold on me enough so that it would suffocate me and lead to my death’. No more deep thinking for me! 😉
‘After sitting alone thinking about the earth and all the shallowness and emptiness I thought ‘why not take another survey? I mean it won’t mean anything but I might as well’…
So I found one that seemed pretty innocuous ‘What sandwich are you?’ Perhaps I was eating lunch and needed some guidance but you won’t believe what I got as my sandwich. Again, I am not making this up. It said:
‘You got the Sad bologna sandwich. Look at your life. Look at your choices” Now I’m really experiencing some existential dread. Look at my choices? Look at my life? I never knew I was so off track. And it’s not just a bologna sandwich but a sad bologna sandwich. Even my bologna is sad. Now that is existential…
What’s a girl to do? Existential dread, a sad sandwich. Look at my life choices…I’m a mess. A bit of an academic mess that likes cheap mystery meat but a mess!
But then I found some comfort in an article in the Huffington Post and again I am not making this up. It said:
“New research shows Tylenol may have the unseen psychological side-effect of easing existential dread….We think that Tylenol is blocking existential unease in the same way it prevents pain because a similar neurological process is responsible for both types of distress,”
Phew! What a relief. I’ve got to stock up on tylenol.
But what do I do about my sad sandwich? And my life choices? When I see bologna in the stores it’s going to have a whole new tragic appeal to me. How can a sandwich be sad? Evidently if it is my sandwich it brings on all kinds of anxiety, distress and sadness. Perhaps the poor life choices have something to do with the tylenol too! Maybe that will help me get a happy sandwich?
Anyway, I thought it was hilarious, but I implore all of you to watch out for any existential dread posts or if you see bologna in my fridge give me a hug and ask me how those life choices are going. You may be my only hope!
Let’s lighten things up a bit…I do like to laugh just so you know. I was thinking about it and it has been a while before a real screwball comedy made me laugh. I guess there was Silver Linings Playbook but that definitely had drama. I wish more clean, funny comedy was put out. It seems in recent years most comedies have been out to shock not laugh. Also, it is not inherently funny to have a woman acting unseemingly in and of itself. It still has to be funny.
Lately I’ve been getting really into Studio C on BYU TV. It is proof that you can do funny and be clean. Sometimes I think it is funnier because it is so relatable. You aren’t turned off by the bad language. Do any of you watch Studio C and think it is funny? What are your favorite bits?
You see I really am quite a cheerful person. Today the funniest thing happened. I was talking to my bff and I had to hang up so I could get food. I said ‘I love you! You are awesome’ and then hung up ordered my meal. When I went around to the window the guy at taco time said ‘I love you too. You are awesome’. It was pretty funny. You have to be able to laugh at life or the tough times will drive you crazy. There is a Bill Cosby bit about going to the dentist that no matter how often I listen to it I laugh my head off. It is great therapy when you feel worn down by a week. I highly recommend it.
Well, I thought it would be fun to share with you guys some things I think are funny and hopefully you will get a good laugh and have a great day:
Had to add a couple Brian Regan bits too because he’s so clean and funny too. I have yet to find anyone who didn’t find these bits to be funny and you can listen to them with your whole family. I love playing his routines on road trips and laughing my butt off!
I heard this the other day and thought it was funny. So at the end of this long hot week have a laugh on me.
Things We’ve Learned From the Movie Industry
Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people – whether they are employed or not.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Radiation causes interesting mutations – not to your future children, but to you, right then and there.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
Most dogs are immortal.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.
It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
Kitchens don’t have light switches.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
So I’ve been sick the last few days and been working more than I should. I still struggle to sleep at night even when sick so after my 20 minutes of trying to go to sleep I turned on the TV and stumbled up on Mitt Romney’s remarks at the Alfred E. Smith dinner. It made me laugh a lot. In fact, I thought it was much funnier than anything SNL has done this season.
“…tomorrow’s headlines would read, “Obama Embraced by Catholics; Romney Dines With Rich People.”
“Usually when I get invited to gatherings like this it’s just to be designated driver”
“In the spirit of big bird this dinner is brought to you by the letter “O” and the number 16 trillion”
After looking at recent job #s President will boast “you’re better off than you were four weeks ago”
On the bias of the press, headlines will say “polls show Obama leading from behind.”
Nice to have a good laugh! Hopefully it will make a few people see Romney in a new light. Not as stiff an unapproachable as the primaries made him look.
I had an interesting experience today. There is a family in my ward who I had greeted but didn’t know very well (that’s true for most of the family’s in my ward!). Especially without a ward activity I don’t feel like I’ve had a chance to really get to know people. Last week being Easter a number of people asked me to their home for dinner because they wanted to make sure I had some place to go for the holiday. I had a lovely evening with one of those families but another one I said ‘please invite me over another time. I’d love it.’.
So this week I saw the Mom of the family and said ‘would you like to come to dinner tonight? We’d love to have you. It’s totally up to you’.
My immediate reaction was ‘I don’t want to be a bother. I have food at home. I don’t need to bother them.’ but then I reasoned ‘She is inviting me, so why not?’
With a shrug I said ‘sure. That’s so nice. Thank you.’
I offered to bring something, we chatted and then I joined them later for dinner. We had a wonderful meal with her in-laws and the whole family. It’s fun to go to someone’s house because I can have just a little bit of food I don’t normally indulge in because I can’t make a whole batch for myself. For example, she had rolls that were big and fluffy. I could never make a batch of rolls because I would eat too many on multiple days!
In the course of our conversation she said ‘I was pleasantly surprised when you said yes. I think that shows great determination to accept an invitation from a stranger who you don’t know very well’.
What I didn’t tell her is that I’d almost said no but living alone has taught me to take advantage of the social opportunities presented before me and gather with others when you have the chance. Its interesting to me that I would have held off from having a pleasant experience where I wasn’t a bit of a bother out of a fear of breaching some kind of social protocol. Do we fear that the offer is not really sincere? Kind of like when someone asks you how are you doing and you just expect a ‘fine’ in response even if their world is falling apart?
Do we worry that we really will be a bother even if they don’t think we are at the moment of the request? Or are we just too prideful to accept an offer when it is presented?
Why do we hold ourselves aloft from positive experiences because of a mysterious social fear? Have you noticed yourself doing this? Someone offers you help or says ‘I’d like to do _____ sometime’ but you never pursue their request out of an embarrassment or you outright refuse knowing it would be a good experience?
It’s a funny part of human nature that’s for sure. Why do we hold ourselves off from good experiences? Strange. I’m going to try and not do that any more. Take advantage of every good thing that comes my way. I’m not saying you have to accept every invitation offered to you but to not except out of some type of social protocol is ridiculous.
Anyway, just so you know I love getting invited to others homes and hopefully I’m helpful and can return the favor sometime. So all you friends out there invite away. I won’t be offended! 🙂 .
(Big Bang Theory on non-optional social conventions)
Today I have had a lot on my mind. Trying to decide to have surgery, getting immersed in a new ward (which went great btw. More on that to come)etc. Where did I turn?- yes to the scriptures, prayer and friends but also to Mr. Oscar Wilde and his play An Ideal Husband. Who would have thought that a gay man from the late 19th century would have so much to to teach a Mormon girl in 2012.
The play is about a politician who has a past unbeknownst to all of his friends including the silly Lord Goring. Unfortunately this past is used as blackmail and all pandemonium breaks free. Well, here are some quotes that made me laugh and some that made me think:
Lord Arthur Goring: Fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself.
Lord Caversham: I don’t know how you stand society. A lot of damned nobodies talking about nothing. Lord Arthur Goring: I love talking about nothing, Father. It’s the only thing I know anything about.
Lord Arthur Goring: I’m sorry, Father, but the truth is, this is not my day for talking seriously. Lord Caversham: Well, what do you mean, sir? Lord Arthur Goring: I mean that I only talk seriously on the first Tuesday of every month. Between noon and three.
Lord Arthur Goring: Rather than risk losing your love, he would do anything. Has he not been punished enough? Gertrude: We’ve both been punished. I set him up too high. Lord Arthur Goring: Do not set him down now too low.
(I like this one when thinking of couples I know after a break up. Someone once too high, suddenly becomes too low.)
Lord Arthur Goring: Gertrude, it is not the perfect, but rather the imperfect who have need of love. Gertrude: You seem to know a great deal about it all of a sudden. Lord Arthur Goring: Oh, I hope not. All I know, Gertrude, is that it takes great courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it. And even more courage to see it in the one you love. Gertrude, you have more courage than any woman I have ever known. Do not be afraid now to use it.
I think that last one is true of yourself. Don’t you have those moments where you see yourself in all its tainted glory? I do. Have had those moments lately (something about turning 31. You must face your own mortality, your own value to the world). I feel closer to God and Jesus Christ than ever before. In fact, I haven’t felt their presence as palpably in my life since my mission.
It is certainly true that ‘it is not the perfect, but rather the imperfect who have need of love.’ I’m proof of that! We all are. (Unless the perfect man really is out there and if so please show yourself to me at once!)
“To guide our own craft, we must be captain, pilot, engineer; with chart and compass to stand at the wheel; to watch the winds and waves, and know when to take in the sail, and to read the signs in the firmament over all. It matters not whether the solitary voyager is man or woman; nature, having endowed them equally, leaves them to their own skill and judgment in the hour of danger, and, if not equal to the occasion, alike they perish.”
There are moments in life when you get to know yourself- Aren’t those tough? but we need them to see our true potential. Working on that right now, the solitude of self…
So I have to admit I have been feeling a little down the last few days. Its just hard to have a sore throat and I feel like this whole year has been so chocked full of challenges. It just seems such a cruel trick that the year I try the hardest to get in shape is the year my body falls apart on me. In one year I’ve fallen down a flight of stairs injuring my spine, had surgery on my eye, been diagnosed with diabetes and fibromyalgia and had tonsillitis repeatedly.
I know I’ve had many triumphs including finishing my races, making tons of new swim friends, downgrading diabetes diagnosis to a less than pre-diabetic level, but it has been a tough year. Let no man deny me that! Anyway, I was driving home from taking my brother to the airport today stuck in bumper to bumper traffic feeling sorry for myself when I turned on the radio to hear a traffic update. The traffic reporter got on and for each area he had the same diagnosis:
“It’s not as bad as it could be but plan on extra time.”
For some reason this struck me as hilarious, particularly for a traffic reporter. How is it helpful for me driving to know it isn’t as bad as it could be? That doesn’t tell me if there is construction or an accident or if there is an alternate route to take but in a way it is helpful. As bad as life can get “its not as bad as it could be”.
It just made me laugh and count my many, many blessings. Its funny how a little thing like that can pick you up and make you think isn’t it? Tomorrow I have to get back to work on the Poler products because people are waiting for me to learn how to invoice and create purchase orders (it really was a bad week to be sick). I hope I can keep this positive message in mind as I am sure it will be a long day. “Its not as bad as it could be”