Your Hallmark Christmas Survival Guide

So tonight marks the first of the Hallmark Countdown to Christmas. This includes 2 channels and 33 films full of holiday cheer! I thought before we started I would give you a guide to help prepare you for the joy you are about to experience. Please subscribe to our podcast on youtube and itunes!

  1. Every town must have a holiday festival that is taken very seriously and sometimes involves meddlesome Santas
  2. If you have a high school  significant other you need to forget about who you are with because you have clearly grown cold from big city living and need to return
  3. Big cities are evil unless you happen to be a window designer or overseeing a parade.
  4. If you are dating someone at the start of the holiday season he’s probably a jerk and either your high school boyfriend or your “best friend” is who you really should be with
  5.  Beware of strategically placed mistletoe
  6. If you are a chef or baker you are probably lovelorn and need to find your wayback to your high school boyfriend
  7. If you are either a lawyer, realtor or business woman avoid any transactions with Christmas Town USA as it will undoubtedly lead to Christmas magic
  8. European vacations to countries with available Princes should be encouraged
  9. Lying to your family about who you are dating is always a good idea. If possible bring a fake fiance to Christmas dinner.
  10. Being widowed is much more common than divorce. In fact, children have almost always lost one or more of their parents
  11. Festivities must be cheerful but not expressly about Jesus
  12. If traveling during the holidays and you sit next to an attractive man expect all kinds of hijinks and delays to occur especially if you are engaged to a jerk.
  13. All films must end with a kiss (close mouth of course) under gently falling snow preferably in a horse drawn sleigh or by a large Christmas tree
  14. Santa has way too much time on his hands unless the film is about a Scrooge and then 3 ghosts take over
  15. Be very careful making wishes for other lives or happier Christmases because you are guaranteed to wake up married to your high school boyfriend Let me know if you have any additional rules and what you think of the new movies!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s