I’m Happy and My Hidden Audience

Guys,  I am so happy. I know I’ve done my share of complaining on this blog and I just want to say-

I am Happy.

And the truth is I have all of you to thank for being happy.  When I first started this blog it was to sort out all of the issues in my life after quitting my job.  I had done the biggest thing of my life.  It was so hard and I had been so low.

In a way all my self discovery and realization started with work and feeling conflicted about work.

I couldn’t even tell you how many posts I’ve done about work.  Whether feminism and work or movies about work (my 3rd post was about You’ve Got Mail and how it is such a great movie about work), my frustrations about work, my workaholicism, everything else.

The hardest time in my life was when I was stuck in a work situation that I didn’t feel like I could get out of.  I was scared and alone and so unhappy.  To this day my greatest fear is being that unhappy again.  I never want to feel that way again.  It was like being stuck in tar and trying to get away but I couldn’t move my feet.

I remember at one point telling my Mom that I felt like a black cloud was over my life and I could never make it go away.  Then I quit my job and everything good in my life has come from taking that leap into nothing, no job, no plans, nothing.

And then I was free.  A new creature but, I ended up back in accounting but at least working from home.  This was the compromise I thought I would have to make in life.  Have a ‘manner of happiness’ and be content with it.

So, I didn’t really think that my real work dreams could come true, but I kept writing because not only had it helped me rebuild my life  but it had given me an outlet to express who I was and what I thought about the world, and to my shock some people liked what I had to say.  For a single girl in Draper Utah who had been sad for many months it was so validating to write my silly thoughts about life.

I realized that the more I shared with you, the better person I was.  I tried to keep it to only my life and with a few missteps I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished.

I love writing and sharing with you so much.  I’ve long said I believe in open book living and this blog has taught me that the more you give of yourself to the world, the more you get back in every way.  People think they have an advantage with a cloak of privacy but all that does is keep your perspective to yourself.  The testimony and the life is grown through the baring of it.

Socrates saw this when he said “The unexamined life is not worth living for a human being.” Do you think this was only a private examination? No way.  I can guarantee you this the world will never be more open with you than you are with it.  If you want friends than you be that friend.  If you want to read great writing, than you write.

And as you share miracles happen and some of them you will never hear about.

I know there are many of you who read each of my silly posts and have been moved or entertained by them but you do not feel a desire or have the time to comment.  I want to let you know that I love you..  Thank you so much for reading.  I can’t tell you how much that means to me. 

Thank you to my hidden audience.  I think of you every time I write.

So why am I rambling about blogging and work and everything else? Well, today I got the chance to do my first project on the new job and it went very well.  I was asked to create a video for a major customer of winter activities to go along with our product.  I put it together and was happy with how it turned out.

I sent it to my boss and coworkers and one said:

I think it’s great. I’ll send it over to them on Monday to see what they think and they’re crazy if they don’t think it’s great.

See why I am so happy! I can’t even express how excited I am to have this new work opportunity.  I’m probably the most excited anyone has ever been to get a part time job and for my first project to get such feedback is so thrilling!

It’s something I never thought would happen to me.  Even with my fascination, I had kind of given up on work as a way to fulfill my dreams. I wasn’t even sure what those dreams were anymore.

I was just telling my sister that it felt more likely I would meet my Mr Sunshine than have a change of work, and the chances of the former are not high.

This blog gets a ton of the credit.  Without writing I wouldn’t have become the person I am.  Without the blog I wouldn’t have tackled twitter, facebook and certainly not youtube.  But I did and I am so grateful for every silly little post you read and the feedback I’ve received.  Even when you thought I was nuts for an overrated movie, you stuck with me and I couldn’t be more appreciative.

Thank you!  Thank you! Thank you!

I really am so happy.  I still can’t believe such a happy thing has happened.  🙂

 

 

 

 

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