So I’m working on my novel. I’ve now described Santa, the Elves, Becca the stay at home mom and Marnie the single working sous chef. Both women see each other at a mall and wish they could have each other’s Christmas just once. Santa is worried he is going to lose them and decides to enact the old Shanghai Switch. This is something he tried successfully switching an emperor and peasant back in the day. He has worked hard to keep these girls as believers and this seems like the only way to save Christmas and more importantly their friendship.
So, he sends down his head Elves Spencer and Mortimer to give them magic snowglobes. When shaken the girls magically switch places and are in each others bodies. It is a tough scene to write because I have to capture the emotion for both women while having Santa as the narrator.
This is what I have come up with today. I am now on word 5,824. This is right on target. I realize the grammar may not be up to par so if you can focus feedback more on the content that would be great. I may not get to it until next month when I do my major editing but it will all be helpful.
Before you know it I can see Spencer and Mortimer at the mall on my screen. Blending in with the staff they smile at the kids and make their way to the top of the line. Marnie is still watching Becca’s photos being taken and she spots Mortimer. As Becca and the kids leave Becca see’s Spencer.
“Don’t forget your parting gift” the elves whisper to both girls. This is for our 400 and 401st customers. Merry Christmas and enjoy the miracle of the season”
“Thank you” both girls say and they hug and head their separate ways.
As they get in their cars Spencer and Mortimer return to the switchboard.
“The target has been successfully launched”
Both Becca and Marnie climb into their cars and fiddle with the radio trying to find the Christmas music. As t they hear the old Bing Crosby White Christmas they think of the snow globes. Getting them out they sparkle and which makes both girls smile. Then the playhouse catches their attention. It has purple walls and blue curtains. It even has a cat that looks remarkably like Marnie’s cat Pepper. It must be some kind of coincidence made by the snow globe providers. Amazing.
With a nostalgic sigh they shake the snow globes and the white fluff goes everywhere. Suddenly the world starts spinning around them. Marnie can see Becca and Becca can see Marnie, but its like they are floating over each other. Then there are firecrackers and pops of light and sound. Pow! Bang! Bzzz! SSSSSS
Becca wakes up first, and lets out a yawn. What a day. It was so hot in that mall and the kids were so difficult. She must have blacked out for a second. What was going on? Then she noticed the quiet. Where are the kids? Looking around she sees she’s in Marnie’s car. It’s a lot nicer than her car and there are no gobs of chewing gum on the dashboard or French fries stuck in the slot for the seatbelt.
Did Marnie take the kids? What’s going on?
The fireworks are popping for Marnie and she feels like Dorothy in Wizard of Oz. In fact, she can almost see Mrs. Gulch riding her bike in the tornado. It is scary but oddly peaceful.
“Mom, can we go to the library now?” Callie is pulling on her winter coat. Marnie looks down at Callie.
“I’m sure your Mom will take you later in the day” she says looking for Becca in the old minivan but not seeing her.
“What did you say Mommy?” Callie asks
Addie is getting upset in her carseat and the twins are fighting in the back.
“Where did your mother go?” Marnie asks.
“You’re going nuts Mom. Let’s go home.” Says JT. Leaning forward Marnie accidently presses the horn which makes Addie jump and smile.
As Marnie grabs the steering wheel she notices her hands don’t have the normal scars from the kitchen. They are dry and don’t smell like the rose water perfume she normally wears. Looking at her jeans she can see the elastic band and grey belt .
Wait a minute she didn’t wear a grey belt? Pulling down the mirror above the windshield she lets out a gasp when she see’s her reflection.
“I look like Becca!”
Picking up Becca’s phone she calls the number marked Marnie and waits. Then she hears a familiar voice coming from the phone.
“Hello, Marnie what is going on? Are the kids with you?
“Yes, they are all fine. I don’t know what’s up! Come over by me and let’s figure it out”
Soon the girls cars are next to each other and I can see them staring at each other in disbelief. They both try to talk but can’t believe when their voices are not their own.
“Holy crap! What happened!” says Marnie. “How did I end up in you and you end up in me? This isn’t possible . It can’t be”
Becca doesn’t know what to do so she lets out a little yell and runs over to the van. The kids smile at her and look puzzled.
“Mom? What’s wrong with Auntie Marnie?”
“She’s a little confused at the moment” say both women out of sheer instinct.
Huddling together next to the car they both say at the same time “What are we going to do?”
“I’ll go home with my kids and you go home to your house”
“We can’t do that. I have to be at work tomorrow and not you me but me me. Didn’t you hear me tell you about the promotion? If I lose this it could be my only chance. They won’t give Becca the mom a chance at executive chef” says Marnie.
“Well, are you saying you want to go home with the kids?” says Becca.
“At this point I don’t think we have any other choice. We will have to figure this all out later.”
“I guess but call me as soon as you get home. Promise”
“Promise” says Marnie.
“I promised my boss I’d be back at 6 to give the update on the Santa and my ideas for comfort food for the food. Tell him smoked salmon, 6 cheese penne, green pea caviar and cheesecake ice cream made with liquid nitrogen.”
“I can’t remember all that! What am I supposed to do in a professional kitchen” says Becca.
“Please! I can’t lose this job. I’ve been paying the girl tax for too long. Please help me out. Here I’ve written it down for you”
“I guess but I’m sorry if I can’t make the sale”
“Bye kids. I will see you all in the morning” says Becca and they all light up. They love their aunt Marnie.
“Ok. Let’s go” Marnie says and they give a grumble. “I wish we could have Christmas with Marnie” Julie grumbles
“Don’t worry. You will be seeing a lot more of her than you bargained for. Now sit down. Let’s go”