Long title to this post I know.
Here’s the deal- being single is hard. People can pretend like it isn’t and want you to talk about rainbows and butterfly’s but it is hard. Why do you think people cry at weddings? It’s a primal urge to find someone who loves you and can share a life with you.
From the beginning of time marriage, love, companionship was defined as a part of human nature. God told Adam and Eve ‘it is not good for man to be alone’.
So where does that leave us singlites? We have to set the primal needs aside and most of the time pretend like they don’t really matter, like we are strong enough, independent enough to not need them. Sometimes we even fool ourselves into believing we are better because of our defiance of human nature but this is mostly lip service for an ache that is always there. It may cause us to feel defensive because like any wounded creature we bark back at those encircling us.
Fortunately most of us have to function so we bottle up that ache and only bring it out from time to time when we feel pricked or particularly bruised. You try to remain hopeful but then you’ll have a moment where you are driving and you realize ‘I haven’t been on a date in a year’. How did this happen? It’s hard to feel hopeful in those moments.
That’s where this blog comes into play. The fact is I can only get so far by myself. Think about it- in the rush for self improvement I will only improve those things that are the most natural and pleasant for me to address. There is no companion or helpmeet to give me a dope slap and say ‘shape up’.
And friends are amazing but typically not present enough on a daily or even weekly basis to provide the type of feedback a girl needs for true change and growth. They are the happiness in life but as far as life coaches they can fall short. Even parents as great as they are can find it hard to relate to the worries and fears of a single, solitary life.
So, you put on your happy face and you share your feelings in the one way you have. Sometimes I feel like this blog is my spouse and that I’m wondering what he would say and what suggestions he would offer. I wonder what movies he will like and if he is a reader or thinker like me. Does he like sports? Is he good with kids or a bit of a mess like me? For a second you can suspend belief and talk to him through the great mass of internet blur.
I’ve always said that the greatest compliment I could receive is if someone read my blog and then wanted to go on a date with me. It would be like someone seeing my heart and then saying ‘I like that. I’d like to learn more’.
At least I know for sure that God does understand. And he has His reasons for any challenge. If there are things I need to improve He will tell me. I do not have to wait until heaven to get the dope slap from deity. Believe me. I’ve felt it and I’ve lived it. That makes all the difference.
But…you still miss and wonder and cry a little. And then you talk to Him and write to the world with hope and gratitude.
That’s what its all about.
Here’s the deal- Being alive is hard and no matter who tells you to think of butterfly’s and rainbows it is but there are outlets and hopes. He does make a way to not be alone.
ps. If anyone wants to set me up I’m totally game. See I’m still hopeful. 😉
pps. Hopefully this post isn’t too depressing. I just have to share my feelings in the outlets I have. Thank you!