Visiting

As everyone knows tomorrow will be a week since my surgery and today was the first day back behind the wheel.  My eye sight is still not 100% but I made it through.  It feels so good to be able to get out of my apartment again without assistance.  I still have a lot of soreness and my vision as the day went on got more murky.  It kind of feels like I have false eyelashes on that are itchy and pinching on my eye lids.    I will see the doctor tomorrow to find out if this is normal.

This has been a challenging recuperation because with both eyes out of commission I was so limited in my activities.  I couldn’t read, write, or even really watch TV or a movie.  Luckily I had my audiobooks and I can touch type so I was able to use the internet.  My Mother and Sister came down to help me which was wonderful.

But I have to admit I got really bored.  I can only listen to audiobooks so long and sleep so long.  Especially by Friday I felt good as far as my brain but my eyes just hurt and didn’t work right.  I was itching for company.  For people to talk to and visit with.  Fortunately my friends Melissa and Emily came out for visits which I am super grateful for (Melissa brought me smores pie and Emily dole whips!!!).  But I must confess to being a bit disappointed that my nearly constant facebook begging didn’t result in any other visits from friends.

I really don’t take it personal as I know people are very busy, but I also  know we don’t live in a society that pays visits any more.  I don’t make visits.  I schedule meetings with friends but almost never go over to just talk with someone. It is always involving some kind of meal or activity. Never just a visit.

In Victorian days making house calls or visits was a primary activity of ladies.  Especially whenever big events happened like births or deaths visits were expected to be attempted.  If the lady of the house refused the visitor or was not at home a calling card like our modern business cards would be left.  This social exchange of visiting and leaving cards was incredibly complicated. Here are some of the rules:

When making a call a lady does not remover her bonnet or wraps

The formal calls should be made in the morning and never during meal times.

No topic of a political or religious nature shall be admitted into conversation

sewing or needlework need not necessarily be laid aside during the visit

A call should not be prolonged over an hour.

When it is impossible to attend a dinner or social gathering a call should be made soon afterwards to express regret

You get the idea…

I’m not saying I would enjoy stuffy, starched visits full of social protocol but the idea of receiving visitors into my home is very appealing.  I think it is something we have lost in our scheduled modern lives.  Rarely do I get  a spontaneous call or text from someone looking to hang out or visit that isn’t scheduled weeks in advance.

Everything in my life is scheduled and planned.  This is mostly my own fault because I’m extremely busy and if I don’t make time for the people I love it doesn’t happen.  Still, the notion of an unexpected visit from a friend is very appealing.

In my church we have a program called visiting teaching.  It is a system of visiting where we are assigned a girl to visit at least monthly ideally with a companion who is also assigned.  Some look at this cynically as forced friends but I’ve always really enjoyed it.  It can be a challenge but I like visiting with people in their homes.  I loved that on my mission.

Visiting teaching is also nice because it forces me to get to know people I might not otherwise get to know.  It can be tough to work out everyone’s schedules and get a visit in but I’ve always been a pretty good visiting teacher.  I like it.

I’d like to say I will do better about paying visits but I don’t see that happening . Its just not a part of modern culture.  People just don’t make visits. Sigh…

Victorian calling cards. So fun
Victorians made house calls on a regular basis.

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