Month: November 2011

Venting

I was going to entitle this post “Things I Hate” but then backed down from it.  Let’s just say I want to share some things that irritate me.  Please don’t be offended or take it too seriously.  It’s all just little irritants.

So here goes.  Things that drive me crazy:

1. People that assume obese people just need to ‘get up off their buts’ and all their problems would magically melt away.

2. People that assume skinny people are healthy

I hate dieting

3. Anyone who makes exercise seem easy.  If I lost a pound everytime someone said ‘lose 10 lbs in 10 days’ I’d be half my weight.

4. Anyone who makes dieting sound easy.

5. People who feel sorry for me because I am single and oh wouldn’t I be happier with a man.

6. People that assume I will meet someone just because I lost weight.  Tell that to all my married plus size girlfriends and my single skinny friends.

7. People that assume I have tons of free time because I am single.

I hate dieting

8. People who think I don’t work as hard because I telecommute (try having your job staring you in the face 24/7)

9. People who think a single woman over 30 must be a lesbian if she doesn’t date.

10. The stereotype of the bitter, lonely, cold, icy, working woman. (Seriously, how many movies do we have to see that in?)

11. That an overweight person is somehow less intelligent, caring, diligent or thoughtful because of their weight.

I hate dieting

12.  That diabetes is the fault of the individual not genetics.  Really isn’t stigma just another word for stereotype? How about instead of treating someone as less because of their disease we support them.

13. People who lump the tea party in with terrorists, extremists, fascists. Disagree with their ideas fine but let’s only call actual terrorists, terrorists.

14. People who cant rationally discuss a topic without getting defensive or resorting to name calling.  (I hate it when the only thing people will talk about is movies or gossip. I like talking about movies but have something to say about them and be prepared to discuss your opinion.)

I hate dieting

15. People who flake out on group projects, callings, assignments. I hate it when I have to babysit or micromanage others.

16.  People that are compliment ruiners (“Its no big deal”).

17.  Also, one-uper’s.  Meaning someone I tell I swam 1.2 miles and they say “I backpacked 20 miles for 10 days in the desert sun…”)

18.  People who spend more time reading about Kim Kardashian then actual important issues such as the problems in Europe or Libya.

I hate dieting

19. People who talk during movies or criticize what I’m watching on television while I’m watching it.  I don’t need the audio commentary!

20. People who tell me I’m throwing my money away on rent.  Tell that to all the people in Vegas who have seen home devaluation by 66% since 2007!

Anyway, that’s off my chest.  What things drive you up the wall?  Most of these items are culturally based stereotypes or assumptions.  This makes them especially difficult to counteract.

Did I mention I hate dieting?

Same Old, Same Old

Oscar Wilde said “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”  Do you think that is true?

I used to think I was an exciting and adventurous person. As a child I could see myself traipsing off to Paris, Rome and the tropics (I evidently also saw an unending bank account!) and trying new and daring things like scuba diving, mountain climbing and cliff jumping (scuba diving is still a goal of mine).  I also thought I would be living in New York, DC or possibly abroad….

While I think there is value in new experiences, I have learned as an adult that I am the near-opposite of the vision for myself I had as a child.  I hate surprises, am completely unspontaneous and will always take the sure thing over an unknown.  Perhaps this is a safe way to live life but if it is what gives you happiness can that be bad?

Rather than being safe I look at it as knowing what I like and being confident in those choices.  For example,  I have read North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell at least 3 times a year for the last 4 years and I probably will continue reading it over again for the rest of my life.  I love the experience of reading that book and have yet to find a replacement that is as satisfactory. (I was just talking to a girl who said she has never reread a book in her life.  I wouldn’t read much if that was my philosophy!)

For me repetition does not diminish a good experience.   The things I like I could do again and again.  I honestly think I could eat a jamba juice every day of my life and never tire of it, or spaghetti, or subs.  I love Hawaii and really feel no desire to vacation anywhere else.  I think about going somewhere new and while that sounds exciting my heart keeps tugging me back to Hawaii.  Its what I know I will love and just like Gaskell or jamba juice there is some comfort in a sure thing.

I have always loved to swim and whether it be boating, open water, ocean or pool, I love being in the water.  I could swim every day for the rest of my life and never tire of it.  Sometimes I wonder if I should take up other sports just to keep challenging myself but there isn’t anything else I feel a desire to do.  All I want to do is swim! (In fact, every other athletic activity is somewhat repellent to me including things everyone loves like hiking or dancing).

With movies and television you can see this personality trait. I’ve seen Bringing up Baby, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and You’ve Got Mail untold numbers of times and I still love all 3 and could watch them again right now without any reduction in viewing enjoyment.  The other day I watched the new season of the Simpsons and it is still making me laugh after 22 years. Same basic gags but if they work, they work.

Other examples are in music.  I’ve had a playlist I made a year or so ago that is my go-to.  It has all of my favorite songs and I put it on recycle and listen to it again and again.  The other day I was driving with my sister and she said “Can we listen to something other than the playlist that you have on all the time”.  Sometimes I forget that not everyone enjoys repetition the way I do!

In the first area of my mission there was a sandwich shop we would frequent and every time we went I got a reuben sandwich.  Finally my companion in frustration said “try something different why don’t you!”.  So I did and you know what- it wasn’t as good as the reuben and I left the store wishing I had gotten the sure thing.

What do you think of this trait? Some might say “I’m in a rut” but I see it as being self-aware and cognizant of what makes me happy. Besides, isn’t there a point in life where you stop trying to figure out what you love and just love the things you have? But on the other side I sometimes worry that I don’t push myself and end up as a boring person, which is not what I want.

A few years ago my friend Camille did a post of things we may not know about her and despite knowing her for years and living with her for 2 as a roommate, there were several things on the list that I didn’t know.  I tried to come up with such a list and it was an epic failure.  I couldn’t think of anything about myself that my friends didn’t know.  Not one thing! I am the lamest person to play truth or dare with because I really have nothing interesting to tell! Being so predictable and open seems like a bad thing?

My friend Raelene has this bucket list of all these things she wants to do in life- the places she wants to go, experiences to have, possessions/homes she’d like to gain.  I have never been this type of dreamer.  I am content with what I’ve got and honestly feel no desire to have much more.  If it happens that’s great but I could live in my apartment, by myself, with an occasional trip to Hawaii and be perfectly content for the rest of my life.

Most girls I know hate being single and daydream of a different life.  I really don’t.  I like my life. Its a sure thing and in some ways getting married would be super scary (although if the experience happens that would be great but adapting to a whole new life would be hard). If it happens that’s great but if it doesn’t I’m fine too.

Thoughts? Do you think consistency is good or bad thing? Should I feel compelled to ‘break out of my shell’ or am I fine just the way I am? What do you think about your life and being ‘in a rut’?

Not as Bad as it Could Be

So I have to admit I have been feeling a little down the last few days.  Its just hard to have a sore throat and I feel like this whole year has been so chocked full of challenges.  It just seems such a cruel trick that the year I try the hardest to get in shape is the year my body falls apart on me.  In one year I’ve fallen down a flight of stairs injuring my spine, had surgery on my eye, been diagnosed with diabetes and fibromyalgia and had tonsillitis repeatedly.

I know I’ve had many triumphs including finishing my races, making tons of new swim friends, downgrading diabetes diagnosis to a less than pre-diabetic level, but it has been a tough year.  Let no man deny me that!  Anyway, I was driving home from taking my brother to the airport today stuck in bumper to bumper traffic feeling sorry for myself when I turned on the radio to hear a traffic update.  The traffic reporter got on and for each area he had the same diagnosis:

“It’s not as bad as it could be but plan on extra time.”

For some reason this struck me as hilarious, particularly for a traffic reporter.  How is it helpful for me driving to know it isn’t as bad as it could be?  That doesn’t tell me if there is construction or an accident or if there is an alternate route to take but in a way it is helpful.  As bad as life can get “its not as bad as it could be”.

It just made me laugh and count my many, many blessings. Its funny how a little thing like that can pick you up and make you think isn’t it?  Tomorrow I have to get back to work on the Poler products because people are waiting for me to learn how to invoice and create purchase orders (it really was a bad week to be sick).  I hope I can keep this positive message in mind as I am sure it will be a long day.  “Its not as bad as it could be”

Hope you all have a great day!

Tonsils

So you won’t believe what I am about to write.  I am sick again!  This year has seriously been the worst year.  I feel like I just can’t catch a break.  I hate to think what’s next because clearly things can always get worse!

It just seems like a cruel irony to me that in the year I’m attempting to be my healthiest and most fit my body decides to go to hell in a handbasket.

When I was 8 years old I had to go through the terrible experience of having my tonsils removed because I had endured 6 cases of strep that year alone.

IT WAS AWFUL.  I remember crying from the pain and my Dad paying me $20 to take my medicine- wonder if that would still work today? 🙂

Little did I know that they had only removed 2 of my 3 tonsils.  Did you know that every human being has 3 sets of tonsils? (I swear I should get an honorary degree with all I’ve learned about the human body this year!).

The first is the Pharyngeal Tonsil (your adenoids), Palatine tonsils (the lovely suckers we can see dangling in the mirror) and lastly the lingual tonsils (these are behind the tongue and impossible to see without a camera.

They typically don’t remove the lingual tonsils because the tongue is a highly vascular area making the surgery risky.  Well, my friends my lovely lingual tonsils are pussy, red, and highly infected.  No wonder I have had a sore throat for weeks.

Evidently the rigorous amoxicillin regiment I went on in September was only enough to pacify the bacteria not make it go away. Gives a whole new meaning to my accomplishments at Slam the Dam– my throat was still probably swollen and fighting infection and yet I finished!

Now the doctors have me on a new antibiotic and with any luck (with this year I’m not holding my breath) I should be feeling better in a couple of days.  At least hopefully I will be able to eat again without tremendous pain.  There’s a thought!

I am grateful that I found a great ear nose and throat doctor and I must admit it was pretty amazing when they stuck the scope through my nose down my throat (they had numbed my nose so it didn’t hurt).  It really looked ghastly but I am sure a regular lingual tonsil would look somewhat gross also! (Honestly, it could have been worse.  It could have been cancer or a tumor.  Thank goodness for some good news!).

It is such a comforting thing when you find a good doctor who you can trust.  I wish I could find an endocrinologist like that.  All I seem to get in that department is people who don’t care and treat me like an assembly line or like ‘another obese person looking for a quick fix’.  It’s very frustrating!

I finally stopped going to my endocrinolgist in Salt Lake.  He didn’t listen or explore alternatives but kept piling on medication after medication.  The final straw was when it took them over 2 and 1/2 months to get my A1c score back last July.  I kept calling and no response.  And this I am paying $50 a visit for!  I don’t think so.  Even if I have to drive to Bountiful or even Logan, I have got to find someone I can trust that will listen.

Anyway, back to my lovely tonsils.  I actually don’t feel that bad. I was feverish on Sunday and had a temperature of 101 but since then I have felt alert and normal.  The only problem is that my throat is on fire.   This has made eating difficult and I have been forced to eat some sugar but am trying to keep it down.  I want to eat cold things so bad.  For instance, nothing tastes better than a slurpee.  I know it is so bad for me so I’ve tried to keep it to a minimum.

Its a real bummer getting tonsillitis this week because I have so much to do with the start of Poler and my other end of month responsibilities.  Luckily my employer is wonderful and flexible.  I am so grateful for my job in moments like these!

Please say a prayer for me that the antibiotic will work and that all will go well.

Thanks for all your love, support and for putting up with all of my moaning and groaning.  It has been a hard time for me!