Day: May 12, 2011


First of all, I want to apologize for my last post.  I was trying to make a nuanced point about how couples can forget about their single friends.  This can be very painful.  No one likes to be forgotten and left behind.  Unfortunately, I think the post came across differently than I hoped.  Sorry about that. What good is a blog without a few controversial entries!

Moving on…

I had a great experience yesterday.  Well, it started out not so great.  On Monday I was at my apartment trying to nurse away a splitting headache.  I felt like my head was about to explode. Every noise, every motion felt amplified a hundred times.  These headaches are a side affect to the victoza (which btw I have started taking again with, cross fingers, much better results.   I’ve never had a migraine but from what I’ve heard the symptoms are similar to what I was feeling Monday.

For those of you who do not know I live on the top floor of a two-story apartment building.  Over the years I’ve had a number of people move in beneath me (for a long time it was an Indian couple that didn’t speak English but they had a baby which sure knew how to cry!).  A few weeks ago a new woman moved in and with all the medical chaos I had not gotten around to meeting her yet.

I did notice that she liked to play loud music at night (I found out later that it wasn’t music but her work out tape).  Most of the time I do not care about the music but Monday it was like a sledgehammer.  I decided to go down there and ask politely for her to turn the music down.  I rang the doorbell and she basically said ‘what’d you want?’.  I was a little flustered and asked her to turn down the music but didn’t mention my headache or anything else. She then looked very annoyed and told me that my washing machine keeps her up at night.  I told her I’d stop running it late and I was sorry.

Anyway, it was an awkward exchange and I felt guilty for being rude.  Plus, I didn’t want her to think I was a snoopy neighbor who would whine at the slightest music.  It was just this particular moment that I needed the quiet.  So, after giving it some thought I decided to write her a note apologizing and explaining the situation.   I also said I was sorry for the washer and to please let me know if I am inadvertently causing problems or nuisances.

I left the note at her house and figured I did all I could to remedy the situation. You can only imagine how thrilled I was when later that evening the neighbor and her son appeared at my door with muffins and their own apology note.  She said “I am the one who owes you an apology.  Very sorry.  hope you are feeling better.  Let me know if you ever need anything.” This melted my heart and then we got to talk and introduce ourselves to each other.

One of the hardest things in life is to take a negative situation and turn into a positive.  It is hard but also so rewarding.  I feel like we were able to take something awkward and contentious and turn into something happy and reaffirming.  Two people were willing to let go of their pride and become stronger as a result.

I’m grateful for the experience and will try to reach out and forgive more readily in the future.