“You know the drill when it comes to losing weight — take in fewer calories, burn more calories…” (Reader’s Digest).
If only it were that easy for me.
For the last year I have sacrificed most of my free time and nearly all of my thinking time to the task of losing weight and getting in shape. To this date I have gone from 313 to 262 equaling a total of 51 lbs lost or 2 dress sizes. I am very proud of all I have accomplished especially because I can wholeheartedly say I did everything in my power to lose.
That said, there has been no end to the struggles that have accompanied each and every lost pound. People act like all you have to do is ‘get up off the couch, work out, and stop stuffing your face.’ What they don’t mention is you might deal with a PCOS diagnosis, an extremely limiting low GI diet, scores of doctor’s visits, hours of time working out, appointments with my trainer, 7-9 medications I take each day, and the near constant aches and pains that exercising and weight lifting cause. I must admit if I had known it would be this hard I probably would not have embarked on the journey.
Maybe for some people it is as simple as Reader’s Digest suggests but not me. Today put the cherry on top of the sunday I can no longer eat when the doctor told me he was ‘stumped’ by my recent chest pain(his words- ‘I’m stumped’). For about two months my ribcage and chest muscles have been achy and tender to the touch. It hurts to breath deeply, cough, sneeze, or yawn.
I have several theories of what is causing this problem including an after-effect of my fall or perhaps fibermyalgia or a kidney problem? (I love that I am the one that has to research these theories and ask these questions while my doctor just says ‘I’m stumped!’)
As you can imagine this pain has made exercising difficult both because of the pain but also because of the restrictions in air movement. In addition, I have had periodic heart palpitations and massive head aches.
My whole body feels haggard and sore all the time and nothing I do but place heat or massage seems to help. How can I do that all the time? I have to work to pay for all these medical expenses! (Btw, if one more person asks me ‘Don’t you feel great now that you are exercising?’ I think I will scream. No, I do not feel great. I feel awful most of the time. It is the price to pay.)
Despite the challenges I have pushed forward and last week did 5 workouts. By the end of the week, I was exhausted, sore, tired and a little grumpy. (I guess that made it a good time for General Conference!). It’s just frustrating because I feel like no matter how hard I try my body keeps fighting back.
Why does it have to be so hard? Why can’t I catch a break? I have been so good, nearly perfect, with my diet and have made every sacrifice asked of me and yet still optimum health is an illusion. Will it ever come?
Sorry if this post is a downer. I’m just in pain and don’t know what to do to make it better. If anyone has heard of this type of problem before or has suggestions for part of my fitness plan I am eager to hear from you. Thank you for all your support and I still have hope that somehow I will conquer this behemoth of a trial in my life. I know the Lord will help me and that I will be an eventual success. I won’t give up no matter what is thrown my way! I’ve come too far and sacrificed too much! Please pray for me, my friends.