Day: October 11, 2010

First Check Off the List

As many of you will remember a few weeks ago I had post entitled the Too Fat For List.  This is a list of 17 things that I am either unable to do or don’t enjoy doing because of my weight.  As I am working to get in shape I plan on checking off items on the list and then reporting the experiences on my blog.  I may not be successful in all of them but I want to at least make the attempt.

Today was the beginning of checking something off of my list.  In fact, it was the #1 item on the list.  This morning I made my first attempt at climbing the rock wall at my gym.  My trainer met me and surprise the harness fit! I don’t know if it could have in March- it was close now and that’s 35 lbs lighter (that’s right, as of last week down 35 lbs!).   I was nervous the rope would break or that my trainer would be catapulted into the air because I’m so much heavier than her.  I know such thoughts are irrational, but I guess sometimes I am irrational!

Anyway, I got harnessed up and then attacked the ‘easy’ part of the wall.  It was harder than I thought it would be but after three attempts I made it about double my height on the wall.  I didn’t get to the top or even half-way but for a girl that couldn’t do a pull up if my life depended on it I think it was pretty good. My trainer was so amazing and encouraging.  She didn’t even charge me for the hour she spent with me (not to mention helping Sammy and Madeline climb the wall.  They had a lot of fun at the gym, and I was glad they were there to cheer me on!).

I must admit that when I finished, despite having not made it to the top, I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.   Here was something which for years I felt was impossible.  It’s not that I felt bad or depressed about it but it was just an accepted reality- an activity I passed over without much thought. I’ve been working so hard and I can already feel my world-changing as a result.  It’s difficult to explain but since I have been heavy from 10 years of age on there are certain messages that I’ve been feeding myself for nearly 20 years.  I think there are few heavy girls that have the self-esteem and confidence I have but even still there are barriers to break down.   It’s like all of the sudden the athletic world I’ve been staring at all these years is starting to enter my world…I can’t think of any other way to explain it.

The most exciting part is that my trainer said we will climb the wall once a month and that I should get higher each time.  I can’t wait for that day when I reach the top!  Even after today it still seems a little impossible but I’m working on believing…

Sammy took some photos with his phone and once he sends them to me I will add them to this post.  If he forgets then I will take photos next time- hopefully at a higher spot!

Check #1 off the list! Wahoo!  (I think I will go ice my arms and legs.  I’m sore!)