As I mentioned in my previous post I took my friend Aimee to my gym and gave her the grand tour. As I showed her the basketball court and nearby rock climbing wall she asked me if I’d ever climbed. I laughed and without thinking said “I’m too fat for that”. It may or may not be true, but I’m still scared that the rock climbing harness can’t carry someone of my weight. As soon as the words went out of my mouth I thought of the other things I feel “I’m too fat for…”.
Now as all the readers of this blog know I have a very good self esteem especially for a big girl. That said- there are still certain things that I don’t feel I can do or wouldn’t have any fun doing because of my weight. The more I thought about it, the longer the list grew until it became the Official I’m Too Fat For List. Just as some people a have bucket list of the things they want to do before they die, I will have my list of all the things I want to do when I am skinny (or as I become skinnier/healthier). As I continue on my quest I will check items off this list one-by-one until I have done every last one of them- or at least made an attempt. Naturally I will post every achievement prominently on this blog, so start keeping track! I encourage all of you to make your own list whether it is “I’m too shy for”, “I’m too stupid for”, “I’m not pretty enough for” or whatever your doubts are. Make the list and stop limiting yourself. It is my greatest desire to lead a full life. In fact, the entire reason why I am motivated to get in shape is to LIVE BETTER! This is only going to happen if I stop telling myself that I can’t do things. The bad parts of the old me have to be chipped away until a new even more awesome person emerges!
I’m Too Fat For List:
1. Rock climbing
2. Scuba Diving
4. Group/Team Sports (aside from swimming of course). Just once I’d like to be in good enough shape that when people gather for a football game before Thanksgiving or they announce a softball team in church I can do it. (My hand eye coordination may not ever improve but at least I can give that excuse instead of being too fat!).
5. Running a Mile or More
6. Hiking (particularly Mt. Timp)- I’ve obviously hiked before, I just don’t enjoy it.
7. Spelunking- I’ve always been scared I’d get stuck in the cave like Pooh Bear in Rabbit’s door!
9. Kayaking or Canoeing, any boating activity that requires balance. I’d particularly like to go back to Cabo and get on a boat that last time I had to be hoisted onto by like 3 people. It was so embarrassing.
10. Biking- mountain and street
11. Motorcycling- I’m scared its going to get unbalanced because of my weight- stupid, I know. Same with ATVs.
12. Skiing/Snowboarding- pretty much all winter sports
13. Shopping in trendy stores- this might seem like an odd one but I haven’t ever been thin enough to do this- even when I was young.
14. Audition for a lead in a play. I always felt I could only get the ‘fat girl’ parts.
15. Fly on an airplane without using a belt extender (I actually bought my own I was so sick of asking for one. How embarrassing is that to admit. Oh well. Everyone starts somewhere.)
16. Have short hair- I have always felt short hair would make me look heavier. If I ever do this one I will donate my hair to Locks of Love. Its certainly long enough now.
17. Ask the cutest guy I know out with confidence. (Don’t know how open I will be able to be about that one on the blog!)
18. Wear horizontal stripes.
I’m sure there are other items but I will add those as I go. If any of you create a list I’d love to read it. I’m so grateful to have the amazing, overwhelming support of my friends and family. Thank you so much!