Some Achievments

So this week has been super stressful but I’ve learned and achieved a lot.

I haven’t decided on the surgery.  Still ruminating on it.  Luckily I can do it any time so it is entirely up to me.

I realized this week that I can only handle 1 non-work activity a day unless it is a weekend.  If I have other activities I almost never work out.  I just don’t have the time.  This week with 2 doctors appointments- eye and dentist, and vocal lesson/master class, I have only worked out twice (including tomorrow).   Perhaps I can do better on these crowded days but I may also have to accept that some weeks will be less intense workout wise.  I honestly don’t know how anyone exercises with all the distractions of kids.  I can hardly manage with my own distractions!

My trainer has been pushing me very hard lately and I’ve been eating well- ta da!  I lost 7 lbs since before Christmas!  I now weigh 257!  That’s 56 lbs lost in 3 years of working day in and day out.  As I told my friends ‘its a marathon not a sprint’.  I fully expect it will take another 3 years to lose the next 50.  Maybe others can lose faster but not me.

I have also signed up for the QUAC meet on the Feb 18th- I elected to go for the 50 free, 50 fly, and 500 free.  I think that will be a good amount- enough to push myself but not so much that I can’t have a little fun.  The meets aren’t quite as much fun as the open water swims but still I enjoy them. If you’ve never entered a master’s meet give it a try.  Anyone can do a 50 free.  Go for it!

I had another breakthrough today.  I went into TJ Max.  They had a sale on athletic wear which is my nemesis.  Low and behold I fit into a pair of athletic pants- regular sizes!  Victory! (Little things like that mean a lot!)

The other accomplishments is I have sprung free from the prison of my little food journal.  The sugar fast worked as a shock and awe of my system.  I feel good and very rarely want a sweet.  With that settled and my glucometer broken I was turning to my little book I’ve kept tedious notes in for the last year and change.  And you know what- it feels great!

I’ve always been a very independent person so it feels great to finally in a spot where I can trust myself.  I’ve actually developed this as my lifestyle.  Towards the end I realized I kept writing basically the same thing down everyday so why write at all.  I’ve always been an extremely independent woman and would rather just figure things out myself.  The journal was a tool to get me to this state and I feel for the moment it has served its useful course.

Without the journals I feel less like a test subject and more like an adult who doesn’t have to be monitored every moment.  I can make my own choices and make the right ones.  IF I go off track, my trainer will know and than back the journal will come!

I have it right by my TV staring me in the face.  I’m the same way with the sugar fast.  It motivates me by its potential resurgence.  Nooo! I can’t do that again so I better stick with the plan!

So, in a small way leaving that journal on the shelf is an accomplishment.

The journal is gone. Freedom!

Btw- never is there a more boring journal in the world.  Anyone hoping to find a drippy diary would be sorely disappointment (but that would be the case for all of my journals! That’s why I’m so awful when playing truth or dare.  Nothing dishy to tell!)

Next week trying a new endocrinologist.  Hopefully they will be better than my last 2 (I’ve had such rotten luck in that field).  I am sure he will take my A1C and I hope it is much lower than in July (5.3).  We will see!

You know what is probably the greatest accomplishment- I have become this new person.  I love the old person.  She is awesome but there is no denying my life is fundamentally different and I have changed.  My life story is fundamentally different because of the new layers I’ve added to it.   It’s like after my mission. I was still the same person in many ways but there was this new layer. There is something exciting about achieving a new version of yourself.

I’ve become a healthy person…Imagine that? :)

I love this photo. It was after one of the hardest workouts I've ever done. To me it looks like contentment. Contentment from a job well done, from a red face well deserved and a satisfaction of doing your very best at something very hard.